看书

我看了很多很多的小说
仿佛无法满足的现实生活就能让虚构的故事填满
除了满足我小脑袋的幻想
还看见了我未领略的世界
山海经、谋权、人心、历史
突然发现我还是那个十年前抱着金庸武侠小说废寝忘食的那个我
书本给我的欢乐还是远远超过电视和电玩
原来我
好久好久没有这样疯狂看书

Dare to live, dare to dream

Dare to live, dare to dream

The quote I would like to take it in my life. Today is what we had done on yesterday and tomorrow is what we have done today. I wouldn't be satisfy with a colourless dull life. Hence, I will live my life the best and try and experience those that I have never done. There is so much more for me to discover and believe I'll be able to achieve. 

I will live my best today, dare to live, dare to dream. 

再见

这是一个不能说的秘密
一些零落的片断散落满地
时间在不知不觉中瞬间转眼就是十年
也许细腻的情节已经渐渐模糊
但空气中的淡淡清香还是萦绕在脑海里
十年人事几番新
我记忆中的你已经不是今天的你
借笔记给你明明很开心却要板起脸孔的年轻岁月
那时谎称你做的蛋糕而让我感动泪流的那一瞬间
那次共同用餐那么靠近却还是那么遥远的心不在焉
我记忆里住着的是那个不知结局所以而美丽的回忆
我在不知不觉中每一天慢慢从现在成为过去
却也不知不觉中让岁月渗透眼神留下无法磨灭的痕迹
那时候欠缺的勇气今天已经来不及
虽然很想知道你现在的点滴但已失去你的消息
我已经认清十年那回不去的过去
且任由他渐渐在回忆里封尘
其实现在幸福已经离我很近
呼吸在这一瞬间失了速
我想跟你告别   就算我从今以后再也无法将你听见
今天我给你说再见

念

听说诺丁汉下雪了
为那我曾经熟悉的地方盖上了美丽的银被
在这寒冷却美丽的季节
我的心里又念着了那我曾经熟悉但又遥远的国度
我嘴巴每天都念着
心里更是无法将其放下
我曾经习惯了每年的新年第一天在伦敦度过
就算那只是我一个人在拥挤的人群中漫步
自从那一天我离开英国
仿佛那曾经最熟悉的过去再也回不去
所以今年新年
我依样画葫芦去了新加坡一日游暂时替代
伦敦那寒冷且旧旧的空气
是蚀骨的思念
那一段我走过无数次的泰晤士河畔
那烙印在我脑海里的英伦风情
还是挥散不去

想你了
我何时才会再见到你

难产

短篇小说完成了80%
最后20%故事难产
灵感啊灵感
你在哪里？

我不想80%完成的宝贝腹死胎中啊！

The Weekend

As time goes by
As I looked back
I still miss the ultimate April weekend we had 2 years ago
The beautiful sunshine
The breezy but warm spring
The season when the flowers bloom to present their best
The relaxing picnic in front of Buckingham Palace
Sat on the grass looking at the clear blue sky
That was the most wonderful weekend with the right people
I guess
As many years down the line
When I look back once more
I will still miss it as much as I do today

Politics

Had a dose of office politics
Still in the state of disbelieve
It's hard to believe 
But that is the truth
May be I'm just too innocent

June

1) My heart is beating fast when I'm one step closer to pharmacy once again. My passion for pharmacy burning deep inside of me especially I've not been in the world of pharmacy for a year. One final stage on sorting out my new job: getting my practice licence. I am very looking forward for the new life.

2) This time of the year reminds me of the good time I had during the last 2 summer. The breezy wind, very long summer days, the time when dinner=picnic time, visiting Sainsbury in excited state, trips around Europe, and the beautiful blue summer sky. Miss the UK very much, and of course, the best mates who did those with me.I've been looking for a good piece of salmon ever since I come back from the UK. But sadly, nothing beats the Marks & Spencer Lochmuir Scottish salmon. I wish to return one day, hopefully in real soon. 

3) I'm dread for a trip, escape from Kuala Lumpur. However, I'm refrained from doing so, due to financial stress as I haven't been working as a pharmacist for long. Europe opened my eyes to the world. Life is too short, and there's too much for me to see and experience. 

4) Something reminded me of you again. We are so different nowadays. We no longer spend extremely long time on the phone like we used to do. May be the remaining is only the past memories that we shared together. I wish you all the best for the future.

5) I am reading Detective Conan again. This brings back my high school memories.It has been 10 years. Time past so quickly by a glimpse of eye. I couldn't believe it has been 10 years already.

黑暗的尽头是天明

最近，一沉百踩的体验很深刻。
当初那是你们的决定。
有了问题，全部人都逃之夭夭
问题不解决就算了，还另外制造更多问题
我在努力为你们解决问题，却用愚蠢的方法处罚我
没关系，我不会生气的
我不会去找你麻烦的
幼稚的事情留回来给你们自己做
你们不会将我们打倒的
莫欺少年穷
你最好别栽在我的手上
届时我冷眼旁观
也怨不得我

I will remember

I was once proud of you and I still do.
No matter how time goes by, I will remember you in my heart.
Today, tomorrow, forever and ever.

Final decision

So, many opportunities came up to me all in a sudden. All of the similar job scope that I have been searching for. Why didn't any of them come to me earlier when I was desperate for it? Life is just simply strange.

A final decision has to be made by these two weeks. The decision cannot be dragged any further.

Dilemma

I'm standing at the cross road once again.
Dilemma in making the 'right' decision.
One small step for now shall be a big step for the future.
Higher pay or higher job satisfaction, that is the question.
Where should I head next? I am asking myself again and again.
I wish I have some guidance leading me to the right path.

I'm here today

I have tried my best to work my best
Treated everyday like the last day ever
If you are not here today
You're probably won't be here for once forever

轻狂

我的生活太循规蹈矩
若现在不活出精彩
若干年后
我将后悔不曾年少轻狂

最远

几个小时前
你就在我面前
那么靠近
全世界都在为你痴狂
我的世界却只剩下我和你
我看着你
心中却是黯然
我们那么靠近
却是那么遥远
我爱你
但我高攀不起

No 'if'

There is no 'if'.

It can't be 'The situation might be different 'if' I am still working in the UK', because I am here, back in where I used to live already.

It can't be 'Life should be a lot better 'if' we did not started this', because we have already got it started and running.

It won't be 'Things will be a lot better 'if' these did not happened', because it had happened, and nothing is reversible.

There is no 'if' because we can't go back.

However, I still believe that miracle will happen and lead us getting through the darkness. There is no 'if', but I trust we will find the solution.

怀念

寒流侵袭
北半球漫天皓皓白雪
我想起了欧洲
摄氏零下背着课本越过那University Park的银白草原去上课
那日试验失败后拖着沉重的心情在那漫天飞雪的下午回家去
白雪降落在我窗前，我探头出窗欣赏那白雪覆盖的宁静夜晚
在结冰的斜坡滑着下斜坡
还有覆盖着白被的日内瓦
欧洲啊欧洲
那么令人怀念的地方

梦你

不知道为什么又么梦见了你
你竟然还会出现在我梦里
也许那一刻
我想着你

风景

Schloss Nymphenburg
München, Bayern, Deutschland

我虽然回来了
心里还是念着欧洲的风景
虽然那地方
并不属于我

自知

我心里的烦躁有谁能明白

2011年的CPD没有做完
2012年的第一个星期已经在匆忙中过去
General Pharmaceutical Council追起来我就有麻烦

大马药剂师申请虽然递了表格
却没时间打电话book interview appointment
今天终于打了电话
电话的另一头却打了很多次都没有接电话
Interview不懂几时才能安排到

工作忙忙忙
日日晨出晚归
却没有成绩和起色
问题还是一箩箩
有没有人愿意好心帮帮我们
助我们一臂之力渡过难关

房间乱乱乱
却没力没时间收拾
妈妈的唠叨
我也没有办法回答

从英国回来半年后
我还是social withdrawal
并非我本愿
确实时间上和金钱上负担不来
旁人说我积蓄上最有成就
我却只能傻笑
哑巴吃黄莲
有苦自知